That’s a tough question. Do I value myself?
I’d have to say there a many times I do not. Every time I say yes when I really want to say no. Every time I don’t charge enough for my editing or writing services. Every time I concede a point I feel strongly about. And what about when I don’t feel valued by someone? Does this stem from me valuing myself so little? I think it does.
I was going to go more into value, but I feel called to talk about something else. It’s probably related. It has to do with my rebirthing process. I’m still in gestation mode. I’d like to think I was at the beginning of the next stage, but I don’t think so. Yesterday I went into a complete overwhelm/procrastination meltdown because I had too much on my plate. That tells me I need to slow down again. I’d revved up recently, but it doesn’t feel right.
I’d also forgotten that this rebirth process isn’t just about my business/career. It’s really about every aspect of my life. This is my growing up process that I missed out on as a teen. Health, finances, relationships, it seems everywhere I turn something is in major flux. Of course, this is because I am changing and growing in a big way. And I’m sure I’m making it worse by resisting. I know I’m an avoider, and so when I realized that and decided to release it, it got bigger.
Let’s take this back to a question of value. If I valued myself, what would I do?
I’d make my life simpler.
I’d slow down.
I’d make time for meditation, reading and just plain rest.
I feel myself relaxing as I write these words. There are projects I have to do, but I don’t have to rush around marketing and being seen. I can create a simple marketing plan and stick to it. I can be more focused and just let the rest go. As I rest and let my true self and what I have to offer emerge, eventually I’ll be clear on how I can ultimately serve. For now I’m an editor, writer and card reader. Nothing complicated. All things I enjoy.
I place value on this work. The work I’m doing right now as I write. I’m not sure where it will lead, but I value it. And I value you. My hope is that you’ll value you, too.