It’s no easy feat to start a coaching business while simultaneously writing to publish. Just one alone would keep you plenty busy. But I have this need to write and help others. So here I am, and most days I feel as though I haven’t done enough.
I could stop doing both and concentrate on one. But every time I do that, I find myself missing the other. I don’t feel complete doing only one.
The problem isn’t really about having too much to do; it’s that I never feel as though I’m doing enough.
Just becoming aware of the issue can help us solve it. The solution is right in front of us now. Sometimes we don’t see it because we’re too close. Talking or journaling about it brings enough distance so we can see clearly.
Solving the Problem
I know my issue is that I never feel as though I’m doing enough. This has come up in other areas so I can see it’s a pattern. Since I feel as though I’m not doing enough, I must have thoughts that cause me to feel this way. Let’s look at them.
One of those thoughts is: I’m not getting ahead so I must not be doing enough. I need to ask if that’s true. I find it’s not. It’s important to ask why the thought isn’t true. Mine isn’t because the reason I’m not getting ahead isn’t that I’m not doing enough. It’s that I’m not doing the right things.
Another thought is: I could never do enough because there is too much to do. When I look closely at the thought, I see it’s flawed. It’s only true if I think I have to finish things in one session. I can do something about the situation by choosing to think differently about it.
So now I know what thoughts are causing me to feel as though I’m not doing enough. I also discovered what was wrong with those thoughts. It’s time to replace them. But first a quick breakdown of this thought/feeling check process.
We replace the thoughts that are causing us to feel in ways we don’t want to feel with thoughts that help us feel better. First, I have to decide how I want to feel. When it comes to my work, I want to feel accomplished, as though I did something meaningful and it will move me forward. What thoughts will help me feel this way?
Before I come up with new thoughts, I need to figure out which tasks move me forward. Remember, I discovered I’m not always doing the most pertinent things. Once I know what will move me forward, I need to break those tasks into small chunks.
The new thoughts: Two or three vital tasks per day are enough. The work I did was important and more will be done tomorrow. Enough is enough because I say it is.
I know I will believe this more and more as I see the results that stem from the new feelings I triggered with my new thoughts.
Other Causes of the Not-Doing-Enough Feeling
Some other thoughts and beliefs that bring on feelings of not doing enough are:
The time thing is related to what I talked about above. We need to look at what we’re trying to accomplish. Energy is also related to this. The last one has us tied to an external. When we base what we do on outside standards, we begin to lose what works for us.
Sometimes the not-doing-enough feeling is tied to our self-worth. We don’t feel as though we are good enough and so everything we do will never be enough in all kinds of ways. It’s important to be kind to ourselves and begin to understand we are here and that means we are enough and all we do is enough. It can take time to heal this. Just know it can be healed. It begins within and with letting the work of the day be enough.
Focus your effort, decide what’s enough to move you forward and know what works for you doesn’t have to fit some outside standard. Experiment and see how many hours are needed to accomplish what you want to accomplish. If you can work three hours a day and make progress, great! Don’t let others tell you what you should do. Only you know what you need to do and if you’re doing it. That’s the key. Know what needs to be done in your particular situation and make sure you work on it a little every day. And remember, enough truly is enough.
If you’d like to experience this kind of coaching to help you get the writing done, I invite you to join The Writers Sangha, a free Facebook support group for writers like you who want success on your terms doing what you love.