What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.
― Mandy Hale
Today I am truly waiting on wingbeats and stars, the wingbeats of my muse and the stars of my destiny. What is it that wants to come through me? What moves me right now? What is it that I’m supposed to be writing about?
I’m beginning to feel as though what I am to write about is bigger than just my story. I share my story to let others know they are not alone, but there is something else coming through.
We must begin whatever it is we are to do in the world in order for what is next to be revealed. Each step has the seed of the next in it, though sometimes it doesn’t show itself at first. It can often feel we are waiting on wingbeats and stars.
During the in between time, the goo as a friend calls it using the metaphor of the caterpillar’s transformation into a butterfly, is where we meet the power of creation itself. We can choose to see it as the rawness of possibility or the pain of uncertainty. It’s a matter of trust and knowing that everything matters even as it slips in and out of matter.
The source of the word matter is mother. Matter is the substance from which something is made. Everything comes from the Mother, the source of all being, which is why everything matters. Each step is important as are those moments in between. Each is the source of the next moment, the next step just as each out breath is the source of the in breath and vice versa.
Soon the whisper will come moving me towards the next words to be written or step to be taken. The soul unfolds with every wingbeat, with every heartbeat. We are the destiny of stars, those swirling giants of gas and light that exploded eons ago. We are the light made manifest and we may never know how far reaching our creations will be or how much we matter in the swirl of galaxies upon galaxies. Even if we can’t know how much anything we do will matter, we must live as though everything does.
And so I wait for the whisper of wingbeats knowing my destiny is intertwined with the stars.
Being fully present isn’t something that happens once and then you have achieved it; it’s being awake to the ebb and flow and movement and creation of life, being alive to the process of life itself.
~ Pema Chödrön
There is a time to step forth and a time to step back. There is a time to act and a time to rest. There is a time to create and a time to dream.
For all of us those times may be different. Some can spend hours creating while others create in short bursts. If you’re a short burst type of creator, you may have moments of being in the flow for hours. An extended period creator may find they create best in short bursts for a time. It’s important to find what works for you and to be open to the times it’s different than your norm.
I know what works for me. I know my rhythm, but I don’t always follow it. This past week I did a lot of writing and by the end I found myself empty. There was nothing within to bring forth. I know I need periods of rest, reading and rumination in order to create, but I wasn’t taking much time for it. The plan this year was to write in the morning and read, study, rest, etc. in the afternoon. I wasn’t following the plan and so found myself unable to come up with words for this week.
I knew what I had to do. I spent Saturday afternoon feeding my soul and mind. After a few hours of this the ideas began to flow again. I know this is how I work best, but I’m hesitant to take so much time not being productive. That’s the culture speaking of course. What works for me is to spend no more than three or four hours on creation and the same amount of time on feeding my soul and mind. When I’m in that rhythm, I can breathe. It’s as though I’m in synch with the pulse and breath of the Universe.
We are all creators. We sleep and dream and then we wake and do. We enjoy our morning tea/coffee while staring out the window and then go about creating our experience of the day. We sit and watch the sun set and then create a delicious dinner. We breathe in and we breathe out. Life moves through us as us in every moment. Its energy ebbs and flows, moves in and out of form. How can we live other than the way Life itself moves and has Its being?
I encourage you to find your rhythm and to ride it knowing it will change now and then. There is no greater joy than being the creator you were born to be. Draw beautiful images. Write inspired stories. Create a beautiful life.
In Silence there is eloquence. Stop weaving and see how the pattern improves.
― Jalaluddin Mevlana Rumi
When my mind is noisy the words are just surface chatter. What wants to be born in me becomes stuck when I don’t allow the silence to rise within.
For me, the silence within is more than just a quiet mind. It’s a palatable presence. It is the Presence and it is always there. Sometimes, like right now for instance, I had a hard time during my meditation. The deep silence was hidden by surface disturbance of frenetic thought. Sometimes this happens when there are a lot of things I’m trying to deal with at once or when there are things I’d rather not deal with. The inner chatter is related to fear and doubt.
The silence, the Silence is more real than all the noise. When I touch deep silence it feels as though it isn’t just within. It’s all around me, too. The Presence has entered my whole experience. As I relax and rest in it, sometimes the words rise up, the words that are true and carry the spark of creation. Silence carries possibility and we give birth to what rises when we take those words and ideas and bring them into form.
Some writers and artists…I think especially poets…feel as though their work comes from something outside of themselves. I think it can feel as if that were so if you’re solely identifying with your smaller self. It can feel as though it is coming from somewhere other than you. It’s coming out of that which is greater than you, but I believe that greater beingness lives as you.
If you wish to create a work of art, a poem, a novel, your life, I encourage you to spend time in the silence and with the Silence. It holds everything and offers this gift to you, always. But it takes courage to be open to listening. Anything can rise. It takes patience and trust for the Silence doesn’t live in time. It also takes courage to then take what you’ve heard and felt and turn it into something. Though it feels as though it is otherworldly in its presentation to you, at its heart it is the very essence of you as well as all of your experiences.
So trust, be patient and willing to share. The silence/Silence is waiting for you. Your greatest treasure is a world of possibility that lives within. Go to it, open your heart and mind and let the journey begin.
You must give birth to your images. They are the future waiting to be born.
~ Rainer Maria Rilke
Creation sometimes feels like you are trying to grasp rainbows. All those brilliant ideas shine for a moment and then the clouds drift over the sun again. What was once perfectly clear is gone.
And this happens constantly. We can write down our ideas, though it feels as though they are never as perfect once we begin to bring them into form. The rainbow is perfect and beautiful, but a photograph rarely captures the power of sunlight on water vapor the way our bare eye does.
But we try to capture this beauty anyway. We are creators and rainbows are our inspiration. Ideas come to us, rise up and we shine the light of consciousness on them. In that moment ideas are as bright and colorful as a rainbow. We can’t grasp an idea like we can hold onto a bouquet of flowers. To grasp at something ethereal by nature leaves us frustrated. Relax and let the idea float. Take it in.
This morning I saw an amazing rainbow out my office window. But I let myself get distracted by something and then I fumbled with my phone to take a picture. The rainbow faded fast. Instead of trying to capture it, I could have simply looked at it while it was full and bright. Those moments of enjoyment would have done more to imprint its beauty upon my memory than a weakened version in a photograph.
Relax and be with your ideas as they rise. Of course get something down on paper, but don’t grasp at the idea. It’s futile. If you reach into the moist air, your hand goes through the rainbow. Let your ideas leave an imprint on your heart. Just be present with them.
And if you don’t manage to get it down on paper, don’t worry. The idea may rise again, but it will only do so if you relax. Remember you’re not trying to capture the rainbow or the ideas themselves. All we have is the memory, the imprint left behind by the beauty rising within.
Waiting on Wingbeats & Stars
News of my latest published works and other musings.