To allow yourself to grieve is to invite grace into your life.
What once was can be no more. Everything is changing and ever becoming something else. We walk through a world in which the only constant is our need to hold on. And holding on to anything is what causes our suffering. All that is will slip through our fingers and linger as memory. If you learn to let go and simply be with what is in the moment, you’ll finally discover the richness that lives there.
Still, we miss what is no longer. A loved one who has died, a friend who has changed and moved on, an animal companion that has crossed over, a job we loved and lost, the person we used to be. Grief rises, fills us until the tears feel as though they will never end. As painful as it is we can’t resist it and expect to just get over the loss. As with every moment, it’s important to simply be in it no matter what, even if grief threatens to overwhelm you. It’s your resistance that makes it feel as though you’re drowning. Float.
The person who tries to climb out of deep water as if it were solid will drown. Emotions are a watery element. There is no solid ground, nowhere to get your footing. The only thing you can do is go with it and float. By faith grace enters your life. Let go. Feel and trust that you will move through it because nothing stays the same. That fact that caused you so much pain now brings hope.
Rest on the water of feeling for a while. You can’t drown if you let it buoy you. Soon peace will rise up, helping you float. In the dark night the sky will clear and the stars will shine down. You’ll discover that all was not lost. Your loved ones live on in you. The lost job becomes living wisdom. Even your old self has become integrated with who you are now.
There are some losses that you will never “get over” because you will always miss that person or animal companion. Over time, if you’ve let yourself grieve, the tears won’t burn quite so much and your heart won’t weigh you down. We can only continue to let go and feel into every moment. Remember, the stars are the light of suns that may no longer exist. That doesn’t make their light any less real. The sky is filled with memories of what once was and so are we. We contain worlds. Let them grace your life.
Learning to Live