The art of manifesting a life you love begins with knowing what you want. I talked about this in a recent blog post called “Am I Doing What I Want or What You Want?” You can read it to help you with this aspect of manifesting. Once you know what you want, you can set an intention and begin working with the creation process consciously.
The reason I say consciously is because we’re manifesting all of the time even when we’re not aware that we are. Often we’re manifesting what we don’t want because we’re not clear on what we do want. That’s okay. Knowing what you don’t want is part of the process of gaining clarity. We make the creative process conscious by discovering what it is we do want.
Manifesting what we want not only requires clear direction, it requires inspired action and letting go.
Taking action is something I can do. I like to keep busy. Mind you this isn’t just busy-work kind of action. It’s inspired and in order to know what the next step is, you need to let go. Control hinders the process. This is bad news to a control freak. This part drove me crazy for years. I’m still working on it.
So, how does a control freak learn to let go and allow their heart’s desires to manifest?
First, ask yourself how being in control feels. It can be empowering. It’s important to feel that you have control over some aspects of your life. But it can become rigid and unhealthy when we try to control the things we can’t like people or some situations.
Where are you on the control continuum?
0 represents feeling helpless and 10 is obsessive control freak. A good place to be is in the middle, a healthy sense of control over your life, knowing what you can and cannot control.
The problem us control freaks have with the creation process is that trying to control is a hindrance. Creation is more about direction but mostly it's about trusting and letting go. I like to think about it in terms of creating art. You intend to paint or write a particular thing. If you try to control the whole process from beginning to end, you’ll end up with that painting of a flower or a poem about a rose, but it will be so much less than you intended. Unique connections and new ways of seeing come from the subconscious which can only be accessed when we stop trying to control the process. We need to consciously intend and then let go so the subconscious and/or the Universe can take over and create something more amazing than we at first imagined. And who doesn’t want that?
Letting go requires trust. I wrote about that here. It may help you further understand this letting go thing.
If you are between a 7 and a 10 on the control freak scale, you need to practice letting go in order to manifest/create more effectively and easily.
This isn’t easy. I know. I’m still challenged by my need to control situations and even people sometimes. Knowing where this need comes from can help. Some of us experienced difficult childhoods and so we developed a need to control situations and others to feel safe.
You practice letting go by paying close attention to your need to control when it comes up. Learn to catch yourself and then just look. A teacher of mine once told me to approach my thoughts/beliefs by saying, That’s interesting. It’s too easy for a control freak to get controlling about letting go. This is a big one and takes years of practice. This alone goes a long way towards manifesting a life you love.
Now that you’ve familiarized yourself with your control issues and are aware of your need to control in any given moment, you can bring this awareness to bear on your manifesting work. Know what you want, set your intentions, let go and let your subconscious guide you to the next step.
One more thing, bring a sense of play to the whole process. Play is a form of letting go. Us control freaks have a tendency to take life too seriously and treating it like a game can help us lighten up and have fun.
Once you start consciously using the creation process you may notice that when you get to the let go part there is some resistance. You may immediately start to lay out a plan for the next 10 steps. Busyness sets in and before you know it, you’re stuck. You may be doing stuff, but what you wanted to create isn’t manifesting. By not letting go, you’ve stayed out of the flow. I find myself there a lot, but I’ve learned how to quickly turn off the doing and get into being by relaxing.
How does a control freak relax? I calm my nerves by meditating, steadying my breathing, staring out a window or sitting in nature. These things relax me and bring me into the present moment. It is only from the present that we have the power to create.
Now is a point of power. This is really important for control freaks to remember because we tend to be future oriented. Now is the only time we have and so the only time we can impress our desires into the fabric of being. This is why during the creation process we imagine already having what we want. There is no future and the past means nothing in terms of what is possible. But we are future focused while setting intentions which can hook us into wanting to control the how and the outcome. Future thinking can drive us control freaks to distraction. Be aware of this and use only as needed.
We’re never going to become who we want or have what we want until we get comfortable with being. Becoming is about realizing and embodying who we really are, brilliant, confident, Divine beings.
That was a lot. Let’s review what you can do as a control freak to manifest a life you love.
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