All must come through me to live in the light.
~ On the back of an Our Lady of the Underground medal
Lately, I've been making friends with the dark. A number of years ago it was fire that was my teacher, and I came to embrace its transformative power. These past few months of dealing with a cancer scare (stage 0) felt like the fire had returned to continue my transformation. But now I believe it is the dark that has begun to open my eyes. You see a diagnosis like this one leaves you in a dark uncertainty. In the past, fire urged me to focus on what I truly want, but I think this is a different teacher. This is the kind of teacher that can help you see the whole picture, not just what you want to see. The dark opens you to that which lives in its recesses.
I knew I wasn't complete with my transformation and prayed for a breather from fire. It had been a good teacher, but I was burnt out by its tactics. I embraced fire. Was I ready to embrace the dark? I'd never been a fan of uncertainty. I'm an avoider and I had even been afraid of the dark as a child. Many of us were since our whole culture has equated darkness with bad and even evil. What does this situation have to teach me? Can I learn to live with uncertainty? Can I get comfortable with the dark? Am I ready to receive its gifts?
Now it's time to live these questions. The dark asks you to slow down, live in spaciousness and go within. As we head towards the Winter Solstice, the nights grow longer, inviting us to rest in the dark. I trust that this dark will help me see more clearly so that I may learn to live in the light.
Learning to Live